


They'd Love the Castle

by LarkMarker



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gen, No plot points past ep 1 mentioned, One Shot, Pidge misses her family, Pre-Season/Series 04, and is worried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 19:56:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18971962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LarkMarker/pseuds/LarkMarker
Summary: Pidge has trouble closing her eyes and letting herself sleep.





	They'd Love the Castle

Pidge sat up groggily in bed. She couldn’t sleep. _Should_ , for sure, but couldn’t.

 

The Green Paladin grumbled and stood up, giving a slight shiver as bare feet brushed the cold metal floor. “Need to get a carpet,” she muttered, eyes closing briefly. Maybe she could sleep? Her bed was warm. She felt tired, too. She could dream of that pretty crystal cavern she'd seen pictures of in the Castle's archive. Smiling tiredly, she leaned back onto her bed. That’d be nice. Rest would be nice-

 

One mental image had her standing with a jolt. No. No. _No_. No resting. No sleeping. That’d mean dreams. No dreams. Dreams would mean nightmares.

 

Pidge’d never been the heaviest sleeper. Something to do with staying up for two nights straight every once in a while to finish some coding. When she did crash, it’d be alright. Just an exhausted blackout until she woke. It would seem like she’d time travelled. Just a calm wipe out until she rebooted, so to speak.

 

Then her nightmares had started.

 

She shook her head. Don’t think about those. Closing her eyes wasn’t an option for tonight, she knew. But she hadn’t got any sleep _last night_ either, so what could she do? Settling for the moment, she let out a groan of frustration. Halfway, it turned into a disgruntled sigh and she flailed her arms angrily.

 

Muscles tense, she exited her room. If there was no bed, she wouldn’t be tempted, right? Surely. Ghost-like impressions of memories floated in her head. Falling into a calm slumber on the roof with her brother. Staring at the stars. Talking about the infinite possibilities the universe held.

 

Matt wasn’t here, she shouldn’t think about him. If she entertained any thoughts regarding him, she’d spiral into a mess. Don’t think about it. Think of anything _other_ than Matt. But thinking about everything besides the absence she felt as acutely as her hair prickling her forehead forced her to loop back and think of him anyway. Just like that, her mind went down the rabbit hole.

 

Matt. _Matt_. Her brother. Her older brother who would stay up with her to watch her favourite show she knew he hated. Her brother who would cheer her up when she got upset, who always knew how. Who-

 

Pidge’s chest constricted and she let out a strangled sob. Matt wasn’t here. He wasn’t here. Where was he? He’d been taken by the _Galra_. He could very well be six feet under or drifting, lifeless, in space-

 

She started running down the hall.

 

Grey walls and dimmed blue light blurred as her eyes burned. Matt could be dead. He might not. He could be alive and well or he could be gone in every sense of the word and she wouldn’t know. She didn’t slow as she turned a corner. There was no destination, just instinct. Where was her brother?

 

And what about her dad?

 

Her body felt like it was crushing her. Brother. Father. Where were they? Her dad had been to space before. He’d be okay. He’d be okay- Where _were_ they? Pidge’s chest felt like a black hole, sucking the rest of her in and in and in- she felt _empty_. Where _were_ they? Her awesomely lame older brother. Her supportive dad. Her family loved space, so of course they’d gone on that stupid mission. The mission that had taken Shiro’s arm and memories and taken her father and her brother. They loved space. They’d joked about going to see aliens.

 

Pidge’s legs began to burn but she ignored it in favour of turning another corner. Matt had been so excited and her dad so enthusiastic. They would’ve loved the Castle with its aesthetic and pragmatic design. They would’ve loved Voltron- No. Not would’ve. Would. Because they were _alive_.

 

They had to be.

 

They couldn’t be dead- couldn’t have died at the hands of the Galra. Couldn’t, shouldn’t, _wouldn’t_. Not if Pidge had anything to say about it.

 

She was slowing down as she thought but then the thoughts came back full force and she was running again. Leave her alone, leave her _alone_. The thoughts were chasing her. Chasing her down into the control room, nipping at her heels and eyes and nose. She had to run, get away, escape the _what ifs_ haunting her brain.

  
Pidge had to do _something_.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, strangers! This is my first posted fic, so feedback is greatly appreciated :) Have a good day/night!


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